A Weekend without Weed

10 Ways Weed Would Have Improved My Texas Vacation

When the lack-of-weed blues gets you down, swiftly make your way back to a state where cannabis is legal.

“I don’t think you should bring your vape pen on the plane,” he said.

Fine, I will respect your wishes and not get your sober self into trouble with TSA for carrying hash oil, I thought to myself. Already reticent about a weekend away on someone else’s accord, I wasn’t sure if this trip was a good move.

“Don’t worry,” my boss mentioned, “You will love it; there are hippies in Austin, Texas.”

Where there are hippies, there’s weed?

The parental unit will provide the stash, he tried to soothe me. “Like the jar they gave me for Christmas?” I asked. “They used to grow better weed when I was a kid.” Oh, nostalgia. I took his word for it.

Here’s ten ways quality weed would have elevated my weekend in Texas:

  • I would have consumed a heavy Indica and snoozed through the red-eye flight to Austin.
  • Early that morning when we rolled in, a Sativa would have propelled me on the drive to visit the parents in San Antonio.
  • Cannabis tea would have aided me in digesting an accidental gluten intake.
  • When stuck in the apartment with my feverish child, I would have thought of some clever way of getting to know Austin without having to leave the pad. I could have brought Austin to me by smoking with the neighbors and getting to know the locals.
  • Had I been high at the wedding, I would have schmoozed with the wedding guests and likely convinced a local politician to legalize it.
  • I wouldn’t have gotten a headache from mixing tequila and red wine. Instead, I would have gotten the munchies from mixing Indica and Sativa.
  • The spelunking would have been even more DOPE!
  • Cannabis-infused southern sweet tea, that is all.
  • Instead of bawling my eyes out to him in the hot tub, we would have had stoned sexy times under a full moon.
  • I would have blown smoke at the bugs preventing them from attacking my shoulder.

But cannabis is not legal in the state of Texas. And year-old pre-crumbled hippie weed from eastern Washington just didn’t cut it for me.

Vacations are better with your best friend Mary Jane. With weed as the herb of your life, you can always find the right blend to get the sensation right.

 

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