Last year I had an epic party for my 30th birthday: 65+ attendees, a branded step and repeat, sponsors, vendors, a vape bar, free grams given out by an LA dispensary, VIP gift bags with vibrators, lube, and vape pens in them, a live band, and a play party to cap it all off at the end of the night. It was amazing. It was also incredibly stressful to orchestrate and I vowed to only have “big” parties every other year. Suddenly, I found myself four weeks away from my birthday and I’d made no plans other than to go away with my lover Bruno for the weekend. Which, don’t get me wrong, was freaking fantastic (more about that in a bit) but I realized that I also wanted to celebrate with friends. Therein lay my conundrum: I’d just moved from LA to San Diego in September. Where do I have my party? Half of my friends live in LA, the other half live in San Diego. Neither group was going to travel two hours to the other city, so the choice was clear—I had to have two gatherings. However, since I’m on more of a budget this year and trying to cut down on stress, I needed to brainstorm a way to do a small gathering in each locale with minimal expense.
I was in Tennessee at the beginning of April to teach at the University of Tennessee’s Sex Week when inspiration finally struck, thanks to my metamour Marie (a lover of my lover Bruno), who suggested that I do something on a Tuesday in Los Angeles. That way, I could get a guest list at Cloak and Dagger (the members only club I belong to in Hollywood) and perhaps arrange some kind of dinner beforehand. Brilliant! I contacted the club organizers and reached out to my bestie Arden to ask if she’d be willing to host a potluck (literally and figuratively) for me. Everyone agreed and we set a date—April 25th. Around the same time I had that conversation with Marie, I saw on Facebook that my friend and colleague Dr. Nick Karras was hosting a 420 party at his studio in San Diego. I called him and sheepishly asked him if it would be okay if I brought a birthday cake and we celebrated my birthday a bit (since it’s the day after 4/20). He enthusiastically agreed, and so it was. Suddenly I realized I had not one, not two, but three completely different birthday celebrations scheduled within a week of the others. Oops.
4/20 arrived. I woke up early and baked lemon cupcakes filled with raspberry curd and frosted with Swiss meringue buttercream. Half of the cupcakes were filled with medicated raspberry curd and the other were non-medicated. I added green sprinkles to the top of the medicated ones so that no one would be dosed unintentionally. Lastly I put on my new t-shirt, emblazoned with my 4/20 SheVibe Superhero portrait. (Every month, online adult retailer SheVibe showcases an educator, blogger, product or manufacturer in cartoon superhero form). I was April’s feature and it made me so happy that I went out and bought stickers, a tote bag and a t-shirt. I made it over to Nick’s house around 6:30 and enjoyed joints and bowls with friends. Lots of snacks, good music, deep conversations—it was a highly successful 4/20 party. Then out of nowhere, I found myself with a cupcake in one hand a joint in the other and the entire room singing. One of my friends got it all on Facebook Live. I felt very supported by my San Diego community.
The next day, my actual 31st birthday, Bruno picked me up and we went to lunch, then left for our weekend getaway. He’d booked us two nights at a beachfront resort in Imperial Beach and we packed a curated collection of sex toys, a dozen condoms, plenty of lube and a wide variety of cannabis products. We enjoyed my birthday dinner at SEA180, the resort’s restaurant that looks out over the sand and surf. He’d made a reservation at 6:30pm so we could watch the sunset together. It was magical. After dinner we went back to the hotel room and had quite a lot of sex until about three in the morning. We passed out, utterly spent, naked in each other’s arms. The rest of the weekend was more of the same—when we weren’t eating, sleeping or laying on the beach, we were boning. So glorious. Marathon sex weekends with Bruno are pretty much my favorite thing, so it was an ideal way to celebrate my birthday. We came back on Sunday afternoon and spent a bit of time cuddling in my bed watching a movie before he had to head home.
Tuesday night, the 25th, was the LA party. A potluck dinner at Arden’s place with some of my favorite people in LA, followed by Cloak and Dagger where Arden revealed her epic Alice in Wonderland cake that she made for me. I am so grateful for all of the thoughtful, kind, supportive humans in my life who came together to make my birthday super special. Can’t wait for next year!
What is your favorite birthday celebration to date?