My Cannabis Threesome: Do’s, Don’ts, and Must-Haves for a Sexy, Safe, Mind-Blowing Experience

My Valentine’s Day present this year was a two-guys-focused-on-pleasing-me threesome, with cannabis added into the mix. It all started in mid-January, when my lover Bruno and I were having one of our afternoon delight dates. He rolled over and asked, apropos of nothing, if I’d be interested in having a threesome with him and Carter, a dear friend and fellow sex geek. In my thirty years on this planet, no guy I’ve dated has ever suggested having a threesome with another guy. I was floored, but found my words quickly. “Hell yes!” I exclaimed. Since all three of us are cannabis users and I have more weed than I know what to do with, I offered to supply the cannabis products for the evening. We also agreed to explore me receiving butt play, which is something I’ve historically found intimidating and unappealing.

Having a successful threesome takes planning. After the initial invitation and scheduling were completed, we had two conversations in advance and then a longer conversation the night of the threesome. Although Bruno and Carter had never met in person, I’d played with Carter before, so he had a pretty good grasp of what I might enjoy. If that’s not your situation, I’d encourage you to create a Yes/No/Maybe list in which you list various sex acts and what category (yes, no, or maybe) they fall into for you. Share the list with the other partners, and voilà! You’re on your way to having an informed discussion about wants and needs.

We decided to go out to dinner together before heading back to my house, so we had plenty of time to share our safe sex information (last time we were tested, barrier needs, safewords if necessary, etc.) as well as build anticipation for the main event. I would always suggest having a pre-threesome meeting (with clothes on) to go over logistics, especially cannabis-related logistics. Negotiate before you medicate, so once you’re in the threesome location you can jump right in.

After we got back to my house, the real fun began. We blocked out 8pm to midnight on our calendars, so we had plenty of time. I changed into a sexy outfit, we dimmed the lights and lit candles, put on some mood music, and I packed us a bowl. I chose a sativa-dominant hybrid, OG Kush, for its euphoric effects, body buzz and heightened perception of sensory input. I wanted to feel everything and be present for it. Carter and Bruno each took a couple hits and I ate an edible—Snuggle Bites from Swerve Confections, another hybrid with Ayurvedic herbs to help enhance feelings of love and connection. My body was receptive to pleasurable sensations and I felt fully immersed in every moment.

Next thing I knew, it was time for anal exploration! I had no expectations for this part of the evening, which I believe is the best way to approach butt play. I inserted a FORIA Explore suppository (60mg THC and 10mg CBD) about ten minutes before we started warming up, to give plenty of time for it to work. Carter put on a pair of gloves and got the lube ready while I got on my hands and knees, bending over a Liberator wedge (a firm cushion that assists with various sexual positions) with Bruno in front of me. Bruno stroked my head and told me he loved me, and that he was excited to support me in this exploration. Carter is well versed in butt play, so he knew how to warm up my body in a way that felt safe and comfortable. He massaged my lower back, butt cheeks, and finally around my anal opening for a good twenty minutes before ever attempting to insert. Most importantly, he checked with me before he did. “Are you ready for my finger?” was an awesome way to both get consent (again) and remind me that I was calling the shots in this experience, which made me feel safe. He went slowly and tried different techniques, getting my feedback for each. The FORIA suppository made a huge difference. I felt much less discomfort than I’ve experienced in the past, but without a numbing sensation. Once we found a technique I enjoyed, he continued with the same method and stimulated my g-spot anally. Bruno reached over and handed me my favorite vibrator, the We-Vibe Touch, so that I could have clitoral stimulation. Thanks to their support and patience, I ended up having an orgasm while receiving anal penetration from fingers—for the first time in my life.

Afterward we were all blissful and exhausted. The two of them held me, told me how much they both care about me, and expressed interest in repeating the experience sometime in the future. The last thing they said before we officially ended the evening? “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Successful Threesome Negotiation

  • Start with the question, “What is one thing that could happen/that we could all co-create to make this experience amazing?”
  • Share “dream scenarios” and see where your interests overlap, and where they diverge
  • Share your boundaries, safer sex needs, and potential turn-offs

Butt Basics

  • Butt play is similar to edibles: start low, go slow!
  • When it’s time for insertion, start with a finger and work your way up to larger objects
  • If it hurts—stop! Listen to your body

Safer Sex Tips for Group Sex

  • Use gloves for penetrating orifices
  • Change gloves between holes and partners
  • Make sure you only touch a toy or lube bottle with clean hands or fresh gloves
  • Once a hand/toy/glove touches the butt, it doesn’t touch any other body parts
  • Put lube in small, disposable condiment containers for portion and contamination control

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