Stoned and craving Scooby snacks? Just puffed up the last of that Tangerine Dream and needing a re-up? Don’t despair – drone delivery is here! Or at least the idea…
All you have to do is call up your local recreational weed store, pay probably too much for a quarter ounce (but hey it comes with papers and a variety of strains in fancy glass containers), you don’t have to worry about your lost car keys and boom, buzz-buzz-buzz and your friendly neighborhood drone is flying out there with a fresh stash.
What Could Go Wrong?
Well, you were stoned when you put order in. Unbeknownst to you, your Amazon account was set to your work address and you were so excited about your first weed drone delivery that you hit submit without checking. Didn’t your boss mention that she is working this weekend and is probably monitoring those security cameras? When your boss receives your package of skunky weed that, my friends, is a drone delivery gone wrong.
In China they’re already planning to use drones to retrieve perishables from famers in rural areas with rough roads. In Humboldt or Mendocino, if a drone were to show up over a weed farm … all the workers would scatter and hide out in the woods until it passed. There would definitely be no staff to load up the drone and it would forever be hovering up there waiting. Not to mention, there goes your whole crop! Paranoid stoners avoid unidentified flying objects so that’s not going to fly.
They Can’t Hold Us Down
Besides the government inhibiting the FAA from establishing rules and regulations around drone flying, there are many reasons why the drone delivery concept will never officially get off the ground. Government entities want complete control of e-commerce and the next big innovation is drones. As always, they want the most revenue they can get from it. They don’t want us to be so free. They don’t want us to get high and fly around anonymous to them. They want to be in control of any soaring around.
Little do they know that we are already flying high. We are floating above and beyond their stagnant, self-inflated sights. Just like the future is green with weed, it is also bright with automated robots doing our work for us. Just be sure you don’t think the drone is a mosquito and swat it away!