Did you know that you can have sex on top of a paint-splattered canvas and call it art? You can, and it is definitely art. It’s in the name—the Love is Art Kit, created by abstract artist Jeremy Brown. The kit comes in a round black box and contains a 10’ x 12’ plastic drop cloth, a 41” x 54” canvas, directions, a 4oz bottle of non-toxic paint, disposable slippers so you don’t track paint on the floor getting to the shower, and even a mesh body scrubber to help remove the paint.
I’ve had this kit sitting in my bedroom for almost two years. The one I chose was a black canvas with copper paint. When I got it in January of 2014, I had planned to use it at a sex educator orgy I was co-hosting later that weekend. I went to the orgy, but we never had a chance to use the kit (a dozen bodies can be SO distracting!) So in my bedroom it sat, waiting for the opportunity to immortalize one magical night into art form.
When I started seeing my lover B last summer, I had a feeling he’d be the one to do the kit with. Our sex life is spectacular, and he’s just the right amount of nerdy to be willing to do this with me. Plus, our relationship is so blissfully healthy and functional that even when we inevitably part ways someday, I know I will look back on our time together with fondness and love.
This kit is equal parts romantic and silly, so to enhance the experience we chose 15mg Zak chocolates from To Whom It May—these are some of the best tasting edibles I’ve ever encountered and the packaging is exquisite! We fed each other the chocolates and began setting up our play space, moving furniture out of the way and taping down the corners of the tarp and canvas so that our vigorous lovemaking wouldn’t cause it to bunch. The directions were both thorough and thoughtful—the designer recommended setting up candles in the shower beforehand so you can continue the experience as you rinse off. “I love this!” I exclaimed, delighted. “It feels nice knowing someone thought enough ahead to want to fill this experience with as many sensory delights as possible.” The directions also suggested starting sexy fun times off of the canvas, then moving to the canvas and applying the paint once everyone was sufficiently warmed up. I put on a Lana Del Rey playlist and we began.
We were so into our pre-canvas sexy times that we almost forgot to get on the canvas! The chocolates had kicked in by that point and my brain felt pleasantly buzzed while my tactile sensations were heightened. This was awesome until we laid down on the paint splattered canvas and realized that paint is COLD! I would recommend placing the paint bottles in warm water for ten minutes or so prior to applying it to the canvas. Eyes wide, we giggled at each other and tried to focus. Having sex while simultaneously using your body as a paintbrush is a unique and hilarious experience. Each time I moved my hand to a new spot on the canvas, I felt like Rose in Titanic sliding her hand across the condensation-covered window. We tried different positions—me on top, him on top, rolling around together—in an attempt to best move the paint around. After about ten minutes (we’d already been going for thirty), we rolled off and admired our handiwork. It was our masterpiece. We left the canvas to dry and made our way to the shower. The candles were a welcome addition to the bathroom ambiance and we scrubbed each other off gently under the warm water, pleased that we’d finally done this together. I’d recommend this to any couple looking for a fun and artistic way to immortalize their relationship