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Trendy Millennial Antiques from the ‘90s

This article of trendy millennial antiques from the ‘90s is a place for you — people like you — ready to cast off their chains. We are the Shrek Generation — media-savvy ‘90s babies shirking the constructs of the primogenitors.



Trendy Millennial Antiques from the ‘90s

Fancyseeing you in this corner of the internet … *looks around* … come inside, quickly. This article of trendy millennial antiques from the ‘90s is a place for you — people like you — ready to cast off their chains. We are the Shrek Generation — media-savvy ‘90s babies shirking the constructs of the primogenitors. But, yes, we are also here to speak about antiques, so please sit down and stay a while. May I take your waistcoat?

As a member of Generation Shrek (a “Shrek-Jenner”), non-conformist but cognizant and accepting of the serendipity that rides with us in life, there is something you can do to buoy your place in the coming revolution! Scour your attic for treasure and realize its value today! These rare items will explode in value by 2053: the year of the Shrek Ascendancy. That is the year when the roles shift and Shrek-Jenners will finally have both the down time and developed nostalgia to revere the very silly times that raised us. These items are among the many that will fetch a king’s ransom …

Shining Red Gyarados

Pokémon is the world’s most valuable media franchise today. Our parents told us not to cite Wikipedia,but I ain’t yo momma … Three decades of Pokémon have demonstrated the brand’s enduring appeal among children and children at heart. Because of its shared importance for Generation Z (jeez, they need a new name) and Shrek-Jenners, Pokémon artifacts will one day be historically important, and thus valuable. If you want to make an investment, forget stocks and put your money into Pokémon!!!!

At this point, you either have a vacuum-sealed, first-edition Charizard and you’re picking out a car to trade it in for, or you don’t. In 2017, the Pokémon TCG (Trading Card Game) set new records for international sales. Rather than dying, it seems history is repeating itself and a new generation of Pokémon fans will induct their own legendary cards to join Charizard in the tier of cards that can pay-yo-rent.

In 2006, Pokémon’s sales were near an all-time low. The Pokémon TCG was willing to try some new things to spice up sales. Gold Starand Shining Pokémon cards are less well-known, compared to the OG Holographic First-Edition Pokémon cards, but they are extremely valuable among collectors and still very unique. In the 2006 set EX Holon Phantoms,Gold Star Shining Gyarados was a card which, to borrow from Edgar Allen Poe, “possessed a triplicate treasure.” Get it while you can (for $100+) and hold on as the value uses HM02 — fly!

Them Furbies Ain’t Right

I was once kicked out of a soiréesimply for putting a Furby on top of a ceiling fan and spreading word that the air in the party had grown stale. When a good Samaritan flicked on the ceiling fan, the Furby began to squawk, and the party grew very silent as the fan blades whipped faster and faster, until the Furby slipped from its perch and dive-bombed the party host, splashing her red solo cup of jungle juice all over her dress and then onto the carpet.

Trendy Millennial Antiques from the ‘90s

Furbys are creatures from the desolate one, fo sho’. The Devil’s Lettuce, as it’s known today, is clearly at work in this pair of unreleased Furby creatures. The so-called Shaggy Furby and The Gold Furby are, respectively, worth over $250 each, and that’s probably how much they spent on pot!!!!

Trendy Millennial Antiques from the ‘90s

Ah, those Furbys aren’t right, man! Totally appreciated for the wrong reasons in their time. Furbys really are not worth that much, unless you have one of the very rare limited or unreleased editions. They have been swept under the bed along with with Momo and all the other evil creations for children, like The Teletubbies and Boobah, thus depreciating their value — for now!

The Unicorn Challenge

The riches are in the niches, and there is market for discontinued food items on eBay. Though most are going to be duds, it’s possible to hit the jackpot with limited-release food items with memorable stories.

Yes, I’m talking about the Starbucks Frappuccino, which launched on the eve of 4/20, 2017.

The drink gained unprecedented popularity on social media through hashtags and the Unicorn Frappuccino Challenge. The popularity proved temporary — just a fad — as subsequent attempts at these specialty drinks failed to create similar buzz. An original Unicorn Frappuccino, however, already fetches a few thousand dollars on eBay.


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